Knuck If You Buck
October 12th, 2006 
RanDumb Shit, The News
HAMILTON, OHIO - City prosecutor Scott Blauvelt, 35 (that aint him above, but he is most likely white), decided to achieve a level of comfort at work only witnessed in the grotto of the Playboy mansion and Booty Talk video shoots. This nigga here was caught walking around the government building where he worked buck ass nekkid eating Twizzlers and drinking Power Aid. I guess the nigga figured it was ok, considering it was common practice at the law firm of Johnson, Dick and Bozac where he once worked. Security guards saw the nigga walking around nekkid on video and hit record thinking they could sell it to one of the gay ass Republicans that have been popping up like herpes outbreaks during a Valtrex drought. After the security guards argued for nearly 45 minutes about who was going to tell this nekkid muhfuccah to put some clothes on, he was arrested and charged with one count of being an idiot and one count of being a nasty ass nigga.
Blauvelt’s lawyer, Michael Gmoser, said in a statement Tuesday that his client suffers from mental illness and is on medication for seizures. Yeah ok, maybe the nigga had a seizure and shook all his fucking clothes off. The only medication that I am aware of that might make a nigga get nekkid at work is a mixture of Hennessy, Ginseng and Ecstasy pills called “The Get Nekkid Cocktail”. Getting nekkid at work isn’t a sign of some latent mental condition, it’s a sign that your ass don’t want to work there no more. I’m certain it says some place in the company conduct guidelines that niggas ain’t supposed to walk around reenacting the “How Does It Feel” video on casual Friday.
His lawyer later argued that his client is a solider from the year 2029 trying to protect Sarah Connor, a woman whose unborn son will lead the human race to victory in a war with machines. He said that although the technology of 2029 was advanced enough to get muhfuccahs back in time, the Republicans of the future demand that all male time travel is done wet and nekkid while a leather clad band plays “Its Raining Men.”
October 12th, 2006 at 10:16 pm
Goood greif…far to gutty for our own good…LMAO!!!! His seizure must have resulted in a banked dome, leading to delusions of his days as a page for the senate where he had put on a show before he could receieve his care packages from home.
October 13th, 2006 at 5:48 am
gotdamn these freaky ass republicans.
March 26th, 2008 at 8:34 pm
You Spelled NIgger wrong on your page.
March 26th, 2008 at 8:35 pm
You spelled Nigga wrong it has an er at the end not a.