November 3rd, 2005 
DENVER, Colorado (AP) — Home Depot was sued by a shopper from a Kentucky store who claims he got stuck to a restroom toilet seat because a prankster had smeared it with glue.
Bob Dougherty, 57, accused employees of ignoring his cries for help for about 15 minutes because he had eaten at Chipotle and the stinch was unbearable! One employee did cheer him on in his efforts by saying, “That’s right, you tell that turd who’s boss,” before being razed by his co-workers for stealing an 8 year old Austin Powers joke.
“They left me there, going through all that stress,” Dougherty told The Daily Camera, of Boulder. “They just let me rot.” Dougherty was apparently unaware that it was his intestinal rot that delayed the help in the first place.
The lawsuit, filed Friday, said Dougherty was recovering from heart bypass surgery and thought he was having a heart attack when he got stuck at the store in Louisville, Colorado, on the day before Halloween 2003.
Home Depot spokeswoman Kathryn Gallagher said she could not comment on pending litigation because she could not stop laughing.
The lawsuit said store officials called for an ambulance equipped with gas masks after about 15 minutes.
Paramedics unbolted the toilet seat, and Dougherty, “frightened and humiliated,” passed out as they wheeled him out of the store, court papers said. The toilet seat separated from his skin, leaving abrasions. The abrasions were not as embarrassing as the smell that lingered for 2 days in the restroom.
“This is not Home Depot’s fault,” Dougherty said. “But I am blaming them for letting me hang in there and just ignoring me.”
There is no word as to whether Home Depot is countersuing him for having to shut down and fumigate their bathroom for 2 days.
November 3rd, 2005 at 1:41 pm
Man… I can’t stop laughing at this story…
Like my friend said “they didn’t leave him hanging in there… they told him to sit tight!”
lmao….
November 3rd, 2005 at 3:41 pm
lol… this could have been avoided if ol boy would have used the lil sani-seat joint. but he wanted to be nasty and put his bare ass on the muthafuckin toilet seat.
thats what the fuck he get lol.
November 3rd, 2005 at 3:47 pm
good ol Elmers! It aint just for snackin!
November 3rd, 2005 at 4:24 pm
Elmers paste….mmmmmm….my mind has transported me back to 1st grade….tasty paste!!
November 4th, 2005 at 9:48 pm
wow, and I guess he didn’t learn about the Plop & Flush…
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