Democrats To DeLay: “Got’cha Bitch!”

WASHINGTON – A Texas grand jury on Wednesday charged Rep. Tom DeLay and two political associates with conspiracy in a campaign finance scheme, forcing the House majority leader to temporarily relinquish his post.

DeLay, 58, was accused of a criminal conspiracy, having a bad haircut, smelling like an odd combination of band aids and cheese, as well as trying to sign other House of Representatives members up for PrePaid Legal, along with two associates, John Colyandro, former executive director of a Texas political action committee formed by DeLay, and Jim Ellis, who heads DeLay’s national political committee.

“I have notified the speaker that I will temporarily step aside from my position, but this is some BULLSHIT!” DeLay said in a statement.

GOP congressional officials said Speaker Dennis Hastert, R-Ill., will recommend that Rep. David Dreier of California kiss his wing tip Florshiem dress shoes, then step into those duties. Some of the duties, and the majority of the paperwork, may go to the GOP whip, Rep. Roy Blunt of Missouri.

Criminal conspiracy is a state felony punishable by six months to two years in a state jail and a fine of up to $10,000. The bad haircut and pyramid scheme sales are technically not crimes, nor is the band aids and cheese odor allegedly emitted from Mr. DeLay’sperson. The potential two-year sentence forces DeLay to step down under House Republican rules.

White House press secretary Scott McClellan said the president still considers DeLay a friend and effective leader in Congress.

“Congressman DeLay is a good ally and a leader. Plus, he hooked me up with free cable AND taught me how to write off motel rooms for my mistress as a business expense.”

The indictment accused DeLay of a conspiracy to “knowingly make a political contribution” in violation of Texas law outlawing corporate contributions. It alleged that DeLay’s Texans for a Republican Majority political action committee accepted $155,000 from companies, including Sears Roebuck and Starbucks(which allegedly has ties to Satan himself), then placed the money in an account.

The PAC then wrote a $190,000 check to an arm of the Republican National Committee and provided the committee a document with the names of Texas State House candidates and the amounts they were supposed to received in donations. Then DeLay spent the rest on lap dances in numerous strip clubs in the Washington DC area and Houston, Texas.

The indictment included a copy of the check, as well as the phone number to a stripper named “Essence,” which smelled like…band aids and cheese.

“The defendants entered into an agreement with each other or with TRMPAC (Texans for a Republican Majority Political Action Committee) to make a political contribution in violation of the Texas election code,” says the four-page indictment. “The contribution was made directly to the Republican National Committee within 60 days of a general election. It is also alleged that DeLay hooked up free cable for White House press secretary Scott McClellan.”

The indictment against the second-ranking, and most assertive Republican leader came at a time where America’s faith in it’s current leadership regime is growing weaker and weaker by the day. Political observers are going on record and stating that we can’t take much more of this shit right here.

Kevin Madden, DeLay’s spokesman, dismissed the charge as politically motivated.

“This indictment is nothing more than those damn Democrats trying to steal a brother’s shine. Don’t be hatin!” Madden said, in reference to lead prosecutor Ronnie Earle, a Democrat.

Madden later added: “Aww, you motherfuckers…Okay. Alright. I’m putting cases on all you bitches! Huh. You think you can do this shit…Jake! You think you can do this to me?! You motherfuckers will be playing basketball in Pelican Bay when I get finished with you!”

The grand jury action is expected to have immediate consequences in the House, where DeLay is largely loved by Republicans and despised by Democrats for kicking ass and taking names as far as the conservative agenda goes. Apparently, King Kong ain’t got shit on DeLay. House Republican Party rules require leaders who are indicted to temporarily step aside from their leadership posts.

However, DeLay retains his seat representing Texas’ 22nd congressional district, suburbs southwest of Houston. He denies that he committed any crime, as his personal website ran this headline today: “THE BITCH SET ME UP”

Click Here For Original Article

6 Responses to “ Democrats To DeLay: “Got’cha Bitch!” ”

  1. Resha Says:

    …ROFLMAO!!! oh god i cant fuck with you

  2. O.com Says:

    lol nice training day and marion barry references sir lol bravo!

    this shit was the fucking guts lol

  3. rain Says:

    hmmm…. Leon LePhonso Ellis, Jim Ellis… related? lemme find out that’s your cousin on your daddy’s side…

  4. discountugg shoes Says:

    discount ugg shoes
    ugg boots
    fashion ugg

    cheap ugg shoes
    tiffany watches
    repilca tiffany jewelry

    buy cheap jewelry
    tiffany jewelry
    replica watches

    rolex watches
    cheap luxury watches
    fake tiffany

    tiffany jewerly
    silver bracelets
    buy tiffany jewellery

    timberland boots
    Classic Timberland
    tibmerland shoes online

    Bose On Headphone
    mp4 player
    electricals

    wholesale bose headphone
    ugg boots
    ugg discount

    cheap ugg
    ugg classic
    footwear

    gucci shoes
    bape shoes
    boots shoes

    gucci bags
    designer handbags
    2009 fashion handbags

    replica handbags
    fashion tiffany jewelry
    buy cheap jewelry

    designer tiffany jewelry
    cheap jewelry
    tiffany jewelry

    silver bracelets
    tiffany bangles
    buy tiffany jewelery

    timberland boots
    classic timberland
    timberland shoes online

    cheap timberland
    replica rolex watches
    rolex watches

    discount rolex
    nike air max
    af1 shoes

    nike jordan
    nike shox

    discount air nike
    nike af1 shoes

    Buy Jewelry online
    Discount Jewelry
    Wholsale Jewelry for sale

    Discount Tiffany Jewelry
    Buy Tiffany Jewelry online
    Wholsale Tiffany Jewelry for sale

    Buy Tiffany Necklaces online
    Discount Tiffany Necklaces
    Wholsale Tiffany Necklaces for sale

    Discount Tiffany Bracelets
    Buy Tiffany Bracelets online
    Wholsale Tiffany Bracelets for sale

    Discount Tiffany Earrings
    Buy Tiffany Earrings online
    Wholsale Tiffany Earrings for sale

    Discount Tiffany Rings
    Buy Tiffany Rings online
    Wholsale Tiffany Rings for sale

    Discount Tiffany Bangles
    Buy Tiffany Bangles online
    Wholsale Tiffany Bangles for sale

    Discount Tiffany Cufflinks
    Buy Tiffany Cufflinks online
    Wholsale Tiffany Cufflinks for sale

    Discount Tiffany Accessories
    Buy Tiffany Accessories online
    Wholsale Tiffany Accessories for sale

    Discount Tiffany Watches
    Buy Tiffany Watches online
    Wholsale Tiffany Watches for sale

    Discount Links Of London
    Buy Links Of London online
    Wholsale Links Of London for sale

    Discount Lniks Of London Rings
    Buy Lniks Of London Rings online
    Wholsale Lniks Of London Rings for sale

    Discount Links Of London Charms
    Buy Links Of London Charms online
    Wholsale Links Of London Charms for sale

    Discount Links Of London Bracelets
    Buy Links Of London Bracelets online
    Wholsale Links Of London Bracelets for sale

    Discount Links Of London Necklaces
    Buy Links Of London Necklaces online
    Wholsale Links Of London Necklaces for sale

    Discount Links Of London Earrings
    Buy Links Of London Earrings online
    Wholsale Links Of London Earrings for sale

    Discount ED Hardy
    Buy ED Hardy online
    Wholsale ED Hardy for sale

    Discount Ed Hardy Men Clothing
    Buy Ed Hardy Men Clothing online
    Wholsale Ed Hardy Men Clothing for sale

    Discount Ed Hardy Jeans
    Buy Ed Hardy Jeans online
    Wholsale Ed Hardy Jeans for sale

    Discount Ed Hardy Women Clothing
    Buy Ed Hardy Women Clothing online
    Wholsale Ed Hardy Women Clothing for sale

    Discount Ed Hardy Handbags
    Buy Ed Hardy Handbags online
    Wholsale Ed Hardy Handbags for sale

    Discount Ed Hardy purse
    Buy Ed Hardy purse online
    Wholsale Ed Hardy purse for sale

    Discount Ed Hardy Caps
    Buy Ed Hardy Caps online
    Wholsale Ed Hardy Caps for sale

Leave a Reply

*
To prove you're a person (not a spam script), type the security word shown in the picture. Click on the picture to hear an audio file of the word.
Click to hear an audio file of the anti-spam word