April 24th, 2006 
In Singapore, an 18 year old boy jumped to his death from the top of his apartment building. The young asian boy, who was described as cheerful and energetic, was finding it harder and harder to deal with the limitations that were delt to him genetically. The young man was troubled because he was absolutely convinced that he had a small dick ( im not making this up, really, thats why he jumped to his death. ). Which is the reason he kamikazied himself to the ground below. This man has clearly never seen an Male Enhancement Commercial.
Before he decided to take his life because of having a small dick, he first consulted his mom, who then took him to a Doctor. The doctor said to him "grasshoppa, dont be sirry, your rittle asian magic stick is a normal size for an asian man. Hell, your dick is bigger than mine!" However that did not make things any better. His girlfriend says that she constantly stroked his ego, telling him that size didnt matter and that she loved him dearly. But still, his inadequacy issues still clouded his mind and his judgment.
INS investigators have recently learned that said girlfriend has been hangin out with some of the Black guys from the local US Military base, and has been walking sort of funny. INS investigators have also found a heap of Black Porn in the boys room. The boxes seem to have been wet some some substance, not semen, more along the consistency of tears.
In a suicide voicemail, the boy said something along the lines of "I’ll never be Rexington Sterel…" We think he meant porn star Lexington Stelle, which makes alot of sense seeing as we found so much Black porn in his room. Local investigators believe the boy had been planning the jump for a few weeks at least. His girlfriend says that he had Kris Krosses first single "Jump" on his out going voicemail, accompanied by a very uninspired "reave a message" after the part that goes "some of you try, but um you cant touch this"
Singapore education authorities are concerned and will be issueing therapist to schools to help young boys deal with whatever inadequacies they feel that they might be faced with. Dr Ruth has also been contacted but has not yet responded to any inquires from Singapore.
April 26th, 2006 at 3:59 am
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