It’s been seven months since 200,000 Louisiana residents were left homeless by Hurr’cane Katrina, and Houston is ready pump the breaks on the welcome wagon. Houston is complaining of increased violence, long lines at health clinics and bus stops, and fights and overcrowding in the schools. Many Houston residents are also complaining about the huge amount of litter the evacuees are leaving everywhere, from empty Colt 45 bottles, to chicken bones in the street, to expired WIC coupons laying about all over the communities. On the bright side, it’s looking a little less harder out there for a pimp these days–as the mix of local Houston hookers and new Louisiana hookers are bringing in more revenue than ever before.

As reporters search for the most stereotypical ignant black they can find, they run into Torah Whitaker of Missouri City, a Houston suburb. "I feel sorry for them, I wanna help, but damn…enough is enough. They aint gotta go home, but they gotta get the hell outta here! I heard they got plenneh room in Africa!", she says.

Houston so far has given them apartments, houses and health care and held job fairs for them, but most of these folks aren’t doing anything with their lives. A survey held last month found that three/fourths has put a "considrable strain" on the community, and most of the evacuees were blamed for a surge in violent crime. Many evacuees cling on to the hopes of finding that mystical Leprechaun in a tree that will lead them to an abundant life, freeing them of government assistance. Many Houston residents think they would be better off with the evacuees there, while others think keeping the evacuees around would make the city worse. After all, who needs evacuees when you have inbred Houston residents willing to murder their neighbors over cheerleading.

The murder rate has gone up about 32% since the evacuees have been there. Houston Police Chief Harold Hurtt said, "I dont mean to send the message that all Katrina evacuees are involved in drug dealing, gangs and violent offenses…its just the darkies." Local KFC’s and Popeye franchises have been robbed for their buttermilk biscuit recipes, and city officials are narrowing in on the culprits due to lazy amounts of evidence left behind. "The bandits left chicken greased fingerprints all over the counters, it shouldn’t be hard to find them".

Mayor Bill White said that only a small percentage of the evacuees are "bad apples". Tatiana Boone, a Houston 11th-grader, goes to one of the schools where fights between locals and evacuees have broken out.

"A city that sleeps and a city that don’t sleep — it just does not mix. It’s two different cultures," the 17-year-old said, comparing Houston with the more boisterous New Orleans.

She complained that the Katrina refugees are getting preferential treatment, even though some of her classmates are even poorer than they are. Storm victims were taken on Walmart shopping sprees to buy clothes and were showered with other gifts after they arrived.

"I feel like they shouldn’t have use the excuse ‘Oh, well I’m an evacuee’ just to get special treatment, what about the rest of us?," Tatiana said. "I’m aint that rich neetha, and I aint livin the largest, so how come I can’t get a Walmart shopping spree? That aint fair. They get to take advantage of all the rollback prices with discounts on top of that, it just aint right"

Houstonians everywhere feel her sentiments and basically want the evacuees to get the hell outta dodge.

Original article found here.