Rednecks To Wal-Mart: “I Wish I Could Quit You”

Brokeback Mountain is pissing people off. Again. 

Wal-Mart has begun selling the DVD of Ang Lee’s cowboy butt-lovin in the wilderness film this week, despite vehement protests from the ultraconservative(read: bigots) American Family Association.

The world’s largest retailer announced it will not only carry the Academy Award-winning film in all 3,900 U.S. locations, but the chain will also have gay cowboys walking down the aisles wearing jingle-jangle spurs and leather chaps, to help assist customers with their purchases.

AFA has launched a campaign accusing Wal-Mart of being limp-wristed gay sympathizers. The organization posted a message on its Website asking "concerned Christians to let their local Wal-Mart managers know that Jesus hates them because of the chain’s decision to promote and carry the pro-homosexual movie."

"Whatever happened to the good old days? Back when movie cowboys did respectable things…Like kill Indians. Oh yeah, and Mexicans, too. Can’t forget them." Randy Sharp, director of special projects for the association, told the Los Angeles Times.

Apparently Sharp only saw the word "gay" and failed to notice that Brokeback was the most critically lauded film of 2005, won three Oscars, lassoed $83 million at the box office and became a cultural touchstone.

"Wal-Mart is trying to make man-on-man butt sex acceptible," Sharp said. "But how many copies are they going to have to sell to recruit the losses of customers who they’ve offended and will no longer shop at Wal-Mart?"

But Wal-Mart rejects that characterization. A rep for the company laughed out loud when Mr. Sharp’s comments were read back to him.

"I mean, lets be serious. They’ll be back. I mean, where else are they going to stock up on cheap Nascar gear and fishing supplies? Besides, I bet you not one of these protesters actually tried to sit down and watch the film before they organized a group to complain about it." company spokeswoman Jolanda Stewart said in a statement. "We serve a broad customer base and therefore offer an expansive assortment of movie titles to meet the needs of the diverse consumers that shop our stores. If we relied mainly on the business of these folks, Road House would be our biggest selling DVD."

The American Family Association, which claims a membership of 3 million and is one of the leading conservative Christian watchdogs, has a history of pissing off  Wal-Mart.

And the retail chain has often been more than accommodating, refusing to carry George Carlin’s bestseller When Will Jesus Bring the Porkchops? and cancelling orders of Daily Show host Jon Stewart’s America because both included supposedly offensive images that weren’t in line with the chain’s family-friendly policies. Wal-Mart has also censored and refused to sell various albums due to content that may anger those in White-Bread America.

Last month, the AFA issued an action alert against Ford, urging its members to boycott the car company because the car maker supposedly built a "gay car" and ran advertisements for it in a gay publication.

Fighting against the American Family Association’s anti-Brokeback initiative, the pro-gay Ultimate Brokeback Forum recently announced a Web-based campaign to place the Brokeback DVDs in 2,000 rural libraries in the U.S. and Canada, and has called on fans around the world to play the movie on portable dvd players during rush hour on trains and buses. Members of the online forum also ran an ad in the Mar. 10 edition of Daily Variety, hailing Brokeback as a work that’s "more than just gay butt-sex."

They can now add Wal-Mart to their thank-you list.

In keeping with its founder’s vision of offering stuff cheaper than the smaller stores that can’t afford to lowball their prices just to outsell everybody, Wal-Mart–one of America’s largest DVD retailers–is offering Brokeback at the bargain rate of $16.87.

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16 Responses to “ Rednecks To Wal-Mart: “I Wish I Could Quit You” ”

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    it’s not as though heterosexuals have been shitting on the institution of marriage for thousands of years or anything….

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