It’s The Great Pumpkin Shortage, Charlie Brown
October 10th, 2006 
The News
Experts say that excessive rain has severely damaged pumpkin crops and caused a shortage of the useless, untasty, fire hazard of a squash for this Halloween season. White people across the country are pissed off and are demanding answers. Rich people (read: white people) have been asked to pay nearly $2 more per pumpkin, causing them to ask President Bush for additional tax relief. Cries of “this is bullshit” and “niggas should have to use watermelons” were heard from numerous pumpkin patches in the town of White Haven Pennsylvania. The Republican Party has reportedly requested that the government begin immediately importing the vegetable from whatever third world country that can get the shit here the cheapest to avoid an escalation in the tensions. The KKK has mandated that Confederate flags be flown at half staff until more pumpkins come in from spics, wetbacks or some other muhfuccahs who don’t speak English. Blacks and Hispanics seem to be unfazed by the shortage. Many of them have suggested that this shortage may reduce the price of Halloween costumes, thereby allowing them to finally purchase a full costume for their children this year (mask, cape, fake blood, fancy bag and all that shit).
Now, if this were a fucking chicken shortage on any given Friday or a sweet potatoe shortage close to the so-called “Thanksgiving”, I might be a little alarmed.
October 11th, 2006 at 12:00 am
lmao white people is about to start rioting out this bitch. 2 extra bucks for a pumpkin? gas is already high as hell, this might be the line!! LOL
March 14th, 2009 at 6:18 am
An hour in the morning is worth two in the evening
April 10th, 2009 at 6:26 am
shanks
April 10th, 2009 at 6:27 am
lmao white people is about to start rioting out this bitch. 2 extra bucks for a pumpkin? gas is already high as hell, this might be the line!! LOL
April 28th, 2009 at 11:46 am
sfdsfdgfgfghhsfasf
May 14th, 2009 at 12:54 am
dsakhkasd
May 14th, 2009 at 5:19 am
on whose heads the justice of man may probably descend here, and liping
May 26th, 2009 at 2:31 am
it is very good!
June 1st, 2009 at 7:23 am
it is very good!
June 6th, 2009 at 2:20 am
i think it is good
June 12th, 2009 at 7:06 am
I like play online game, I also buy last chaos gold