In Humble, TX a mother of two was killed when she instructed her 12 year old son to go and move the family van closer to the dentist office building they were in because it was raining. She was killed when she motioned the would be under aged driver to pull in a little closer […]

Experts say that excessive rain has severely damaged pumpkin crops and caused a shortage of the useless, untasty, fire hazard of a squash for this Halloween season. White people across the country are pissed off and are demanding answers. Rich people (read: white people) have been asked to pay nearly $2 more per pumpkin, causing them to ask […]

MEXICO CITY - A family of do-gooders attempting to repair a big ass pot hole in the street near their home found out why the city wasn’t fucking with that shit in the first place. The road, mostly comprised of mud, concrete, Tecate and piss, is a main delivery route for the Head Bussa Transport […]

North Korea blew up some shit in the dirt yesterday and now has the US and other Asian countries shook like a Snapple bottle with sediment at the bottom. By blowing up this shit amidst immense international pressure to do otherwise, muhfuccahs should now know that the North Koreans ain’t the “big toothed, punk ass, shit talking […]

  Dammit, and it just keeps getting worse. For those of you who dont remember last year, we reported that the army had hit record lows in recruiting.  Well, this year? It seems that the army has rebounded in numbers. But not so fast. These bastards cheated. How you ask? They LOWERED the minimal aptitude […]

Some where in Delaware a man has been charged with beating a 77 year old man to death. The reason? His 5 year old daughter told him that he touched her inappropriately. So that basically means he did what alot of parents say they WOULD have done if that was THEIR daughter on CNN missing […]

Girl Fisticuffs! The other night at a night club in LA, Paris Hilton took one to the chin. No it wasnt a money shot. But it was the fist of angry estranged wife of Travis Barker, Shanna Monklar. Apparently Travis and Paris were spotted in a club in NY, making out and what not like […]

In a very wack attempt to make a sorry as excuse for himself, Rep. Mark Foley decided to blame his pedophilia on a drinking problem. I wonder who he is expecting to buy that shit? I dont even think members of the GOP can go along with that with a straight face. No wait, […]

Its not looking good for the good ol GOP these days. Bush is unpopular as ever. So is his whole iraq probably soon to be iran also, situation. They are even starting to say that republicans who are aligning themselves with Bush are hurting their chances of success this upcoming elections. Now if that […]

Bin Laden is Dead… SIKE! There is a new report from some French publication saying that they have information from a "usually reliable" source, that Bin Laden has died of typhoid sometime last month. But just this past sept 11th, a head al-Qaida figure says that bin laden is alive and well. Experts say that […]