Apparently, last week was a little wilder than even I thought. I woke up this morning, and got a call from Mary Cheney, daughter of Vice President Dick Cheney. Here’s how our conversation went:
5:47 AM: *Phone rings*
Me: "Who the f*ck is this? Callin’ me at 5:46…"
Mary Cheney: "It’s 5:47"
Me: "You […]

Brokeback Mountain is pissing people off. Again. 
Wal-Mart has begun selling the DVD of Ang Lee’s cowboy butt-lovin in the wilderness film this week, despite vehement protests from the ultraconservative(read: bigots) American Family Association.
The world’s largest retailer announced it will not only carry the Academy Award-winning film in all 3,900 U.S. locations, but the chain will also have […]

 V For Vendetta, the Wachoski Brothers political action-adventure film, continues to do well at the box office. The movie is about a revolutionary in a mask who attempts to spark a rebellion against "1984" like English governing body in a not-too-distant future. It stars Hugo Weaving(Agent Smith from "The Matrix") as "V," a knife-wielding, costumed instrument of vengeance with […]

BAGHDAD, Iraq - American reporter Jill Carroll, who was kidnapped three months ago in a bloody ambush that killed her translator and later appeared in videotapes begging for her life, was released Thursday, telling the world that she was “just happy to be free.”

“I just want to get the fuck out of Iraq,” Carroll, who wore a headscarf, told Baghdad Television.

Carroll said she was treated well but was never told why she was kidnapped.

“I was treated well, but I don’t know why I was kidnapped,” Carroll said. “They never hit me. They never said they would hit me. I mean, they made me suck a little dick and do some cooking, but no abuse.”

Upon hearing this, an unknown Arab man at the press conference yelled out “Bitch, the kidnapped you because you’re American! Why the hell do you think they kidnapped you? You’re not fooling anyone with the outfits, honky. We know you’re white!”

During an away game against the Chicago Bulls, New York Knicks forward Antonio Davis enters the stands, as the thosands of white people in attendance with good seats clutched thier purses and screamed for security.

WASHINGTON - A suspect in the beating death of New York Times reporter David Rosenbaum turned himself in to police Thursday night after TV stations broadcast surveillance images showing his face using Mr. Roenbaum’s credit card.

ASHBURN, Va. — Washington Redskins safety Sean Taylor was fined $17,000 Monday by the NFL for spitting in the face of Tampa Bay Buccaneers running back Michael Pittman in response to being called an “African Booty Scratcher.”

Jack Abramoff, the once-powerful lobbyist at the center of a wide-ranging public corruption investigation, pleaded guilty yesterday to fraud, tax evasion, not giving a fuck about the law, and conspiracy to bribe public officials in a deal that requires him to rat out all the members of congress he paid off, especially Tom DeLay.

DALLAS (AP) — Former Dallas Cowboys receiver Michael Irvin was named the 2005 recipient of the prestigious Darryl Strawberry “Pookie” Award for Crackhead Achievement. The annoncement was made after Irvin was charged with misdemeanor possession of drug paraphernalia. Plano police officers searched his vehicle during a traffic stop and found a crack pipe.
Irvin, an […]

WASHINGTON - In the face of criticism from the left and right, President Bush insisted Tuesday that Harriet Miers is the best-qualified candidate for the Supreme Court, despite the fact that she’s never been a judge a day in her life. Aknowledging that she does not even have enough judicial experience to judge a barbeque […]