Congress recently found out that in 2005 the CIA destroyed videos of them getting medieval on the asses of suspected terrorists. I know, the obliviousness is rather hilarious right? Apparently, many members of Congress believed that pertinent / sensitive / secret information was given to the CIA through the use of rigorous military tickling […]

 
MIAMI, Florida – NASA released emails detailing the relationship between former astronaut Lisa Nowak (a.k.a. the diaper bitch) and space shuttle pilot William Oefelein. The INS has obtained an exclusive excerpt of one of the IM exchanges between the two…
BuckRodgers343:  did i leave my helmet over there last night? Xx_Princess-Leah_xX:  over here? Xx_Princess-Leah_xX: i […]

 
HYDERABAD, India – Two Indian niggas (red dot… not feather) decided to take the superstitious shit to a level that conventional, incense-burning ass niggas have yet to attain. These fucking assholes attacked an 80-year-old self-proclaimed “holy man” and chopped off his magical leg. That’s right… magical leg. The man claimed that people who touched his […]

A report about steroid abuse in MLB released Thursday alleges that the seven-time Cy Young Award winner and future hall of famer Roger Clemens was on that juice… and I ain’t talking about Minute Maid.
Have any of the muhfuccahs who compiled this fucking report actually seen Roger Clemens? The nigga looks like Al Bundy in his New Market […]

HAMILTON, OHIO - City prosecutor Scott Blauvelt, 35 (that aint him above, but he is most likely white), decided to achieve a level of comfort at work only witnessed in the grotto of the Playboy mansion and Booty Talk video shoots. This nigga here was caught walking around the government building where he worked buck […]

Experts say that excessive rain has severely damaged pumpkin crops and caused a shortage of the useless, untasty, fire hazard of a squash for this Halloween season. White people across the country are pissed off and are demanding answers. Rich people (read: white people) have been asked to pay nearly $2 more per pumpkin, causing them to ask […]

MEXICO CITY - A family of do-gooders attempting to repair a big ass pot hole in the street near their home found out why the city wasn’t fucking with that shit in the first place. The road, mostly comprised of mud, concrete, Tecate and piss, is a main delivery route for the Head Bussa Transport […]

North Korea blew up some shit in the dirt yesterday and now has the US and other Asian countries shook like a Snapple bottle with sediment at the bottom. By blowing up this shit amidst immense international pressure to do otherwise, muhfuccahs should now know that the North Koreans ain’t the “big toothed, punk ass, shit talking […]

In attempt to verify the effectiveness of his Viagra prescription, 76 year old Philip Winikoff (pronounced weenie cough) of Florida went door-to-door posing as a doctor offering free breast exams to unsuspecting unintelligent women. "He told these dumb asses he was in the neighborhood offering free breast exams to ladies with silver dollar sized areolas […]